Thursday, April 14, 2011

April 14, 2011 - Physical letter home from Elder Bezas

This letter has come during a time of limbo for our family, where neither Paul nor we have known where he'd be spending the next 2 years of his life, due to his unexplained eye bleeding.


Well, I thought I would write another letter home. So I received a blessing from the members of our 2 districts. Tuesday night Elders Kezele and Olsen were able to stand in. Elder Meredith (my comp) anointed and Elder Kezele sealed the annointing. It was a good blessing. I was told the Lord is pleased with my diligence here at the MTC, which was good to hear, because although you have said the Spirit has told you similarly, I still have worried that I can be more diligent. I only get 2 years at this. I don't want to regret for the rest of my life how I served, or the lack thereof.

So we just got done with our service activity cleaning showers in another dormitory. Waiting for gym to start. So I'm fasting today, since hopefully my issue was able to make it to the Quorum of the Twelve by today so that they can pray about it and I can find out soon.

It's just hard focusing during language study, not knowing whether I'll actually use the Slovak I've learned. We teach the RMs who served in Czech Republic (2 girls - Czech speakers, 1 dude - Slovak speaker). The languages are close enough that conversing is pretty similar/it works. There are slight differences. Preco (slovak for "why"), Proc (Czech for "why" [without accents, cuz Blogger doesn't have them]).

I just have to be diligent, and act like I believe I'm still going to Slovakia, until I hear otherwise. It's hard b/c I just recently came to the point of thinking that I could get the language w/ the Lord's help, and being somewhat content, going to Slovakia. And then this cropped up again. So now I don't know.

The Lord has something for me to gain from this. I'll go cheerfully wherever He wants me to go. There are pros and cons to both. Tuesday night was rough: had like 4 dreams. 2 were like I found out I was actually still going to Slovakia, and then I'd wake up and realize it was still night and reality was I still didn't know. The other 2: found out I was going stateside; at least I knew, and then I woke up. Shrug.

But the other cool thing - in the blessing I was told that there are NO coincidences. This was amazing b/c that's always been one of my life philosophies, and I'd been sharing that sentiment recently, but I hadn't shared that thought w/ Jordan Kezele, at least I don't think I did.

The Lord is mindful of me. More than that, He's pleased with what I'm doing. I just need to get up every day. Failure only takes place when we stop trying to improve. I feel the Spirit as I wrote that.

Wherever I go, it's a joyous thing, since I'm staying regardless. I'm still serving the Lord. In this fast, I'm fasting to sacrifice my will--that I have no bias--that it can completely be the Lord's will. That I can be happy either way.

Well, I love you all. Sorry, it's hard with time to write specifically to all of you. But yeah:

Dad, I love you. You are my biggest hero. I don't lie. You are an amazing example to me. Don't ever give up. Keep at it. I'll always love you.

Mom, you are an amazing woman. You are one of the most selfless people I know along with the rest of you, family, including dad with all the work he does.

Sis, you are an amazing example. Don't ever give up. The reward is in sight. Life here is short, compared to eternity. Choose the right here = set for forever. Christ is and will be your friend. Forget what other ppl think; their opinions don't matter. There are Hanna Crowleys out there, ppl who will be good friends who choose the right.

I love you, little bro. You are my favorite little buddy. You stay strong. The Gospel is true. I am you friend. Sorry for the times I was too intense and not very nice. I feel so bad about that. I love you, buddy! I care for you. Choose the right!

I love you all. You make a difference. I'll see you soon! The Gospel's true.

Can't wait. LOL. Smiley Face.

Elder Bezas